Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey

Oh, dear. Just when you thought that charismatic theology couldn’t get any worse, you get the “Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey”. If this is where your pentacostalism is leading you, perhaps you should reconsider whether you even want to continue calling yourself a Christian.

The worst part is the testimonies at the end, where people actually think that they’ve been healed. Really? The Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey is going to heal you? Does that give glory to Christ? Does that proclaim the one true gospel? Does putting body parts “in” and “out” say something about how glorious God is?

Want to become a Wiccan?

Charismatic “Christian” John Crowder can hook you up! Raptures! Ecstatic prayer! Access the glory realm for yourself! You’ll move in a deeper level of prophecy. Get into the gridwork of the spirit realm! And learn about a bunch of nuts who claimed to do a lot of kooky stuff. This is paganism. There is nothing Christian about this.

Jesus statue destroyed by lightning

Is it any surprise that God apparently struck down this icon? $250,000 spent on a statue of Jesus, when we have absolutely no idea what Jesus looked like anyway? How determined is this church to waste God’s money? And they’re going to rebuild it? Even bigger? C’mon — take a message from God!

Todd Bentley hits an old woman

Please remind me to stay far, far away from this guy.

Tokin’ the Ghost

This one’s a classic that you might have seen before. The worst part is that I think these guys are serious. But when you think the Bible tells you to be “drunk in the Spirit” then why not “smokin’ the Spirit”, too?

Emperor Palpatine’s Charismatic Gifts

Okay, I don’t know if everyone will appreciate this one, but if not, it’s only about fifteen seconds so you can’t complain. And that’s how I can get away with posting something so completely lacking anything edifying. But it really made me laugh. Maybe it’s because of how poorly made the video is. Maybe it’s because of how absurd Mr. Hinn and his understanding of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is. Or maybe it’s just because I think everything is funny.

You want something edifying about the Holy Spirit? Check this out.

EPIC FAIL: “Why I became Catholic”

Well, if you’re looking for some experiential religion, the Catholic church won’t disappoint!  Talk about what R. Scott Clark calls the Quest for Illegitimate Religious Experience.

I love it at the end where it says, “Devoted to all the souls in purgatory.”  It reminds me why I believe in the doctrine of Particular Redemption — that Jesus actually saved people to the utmost, and they don’t have to save themselves to any degree.

“Worthy are you to take the scroll
and to open its seals,
for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God
from every tribe and language and people and nation,
and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God,
and they shall reign on the earth.”
(Revelation 5:9-10)

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.  (1 Peter 2:24)

(via R. Scott Clark)

Bullwhip Guy

Let’s call this part 2 of the critique of Rob Bell’s Bullhorn Guy video.  You’ve got to admit — this guy has a great point.

Thanks to Dave for posting this one in yesterday’s comments.

Benny Hinn calls, “Heresy!”

A few things Hinn said:
– Joel Osteen has a devil.
– Woe to anyone who doesn’t preach the one true gospel.

Amazingly, Hinn’s sermon was actually pretty good.  Except… shouldn’t be preaching that very message to himself?  Everyone should realize by now that Benny Hinn is a false prophet. Here is a video that exposes him:

I think that the funniest thing is that people continue to regard him as a prophet, even though he’s been wrong.  Are you kidding me?  You can be wrong a few times and still be a prophet?  If you claim to be declaring the Word of God, you’d better be right, or He’s gonna be pretty ticked off!

“My hand will be against the prophets who see false visions and who give lying divinations. They shall not be in the council of my people, nor be enrolled in the register of the house of Israel, nor shall they enter the land of Israel. And you shall know that I am the Lord God.” (Ezekiel 13:9)

“And her prophets have smeared whitewash for them, seeing false visions and divining lies for them, saying, ‘Thus says the Lord God,’ when the Lordhas not spoken.” (Ezekiel 22:28)

“But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction.” (2 Peter 2:1)

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” (1 John 4:1)

Faith “Healing” Doesn’t Always Work

Some people do very stupid things in the name of Christ.  Really, you’re sure that God wants you to dab some olive oil on your poor sick kid and say a prayer for him and yet not take him to see a doctor?  My goodness.  The gospel is that Jesus came to heal us from our spiritual sickness, to resurrect us from our deadness, to remove our spiritual blindness.  We’ll have to deal with suffering until the kingdom of God arrives in its fullness.  (2 Cor 11:22-29; Heb 11:25-28; 1 Peter 4:13; Heb 10:32; Phil 3:10; Rom 8:18).  Why would God answer our selfish prayer for a supernatural healing when He has already provided the means for a natural healing?  Is Jesus not the Lord OF Science just as He is Lord OVER Science?  Surely, working within the bounds of His creation doesn’t rob Him of the glory He would get whether that kid was healed through natural or supernatural means!  This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pray, or even anoint with oil, but where does James 5:14-15 exclude doctors?  How do you know that God isn’t going to answer your prayer through a doctor?