Speaking in Tongues – Wedding Style!

I’m actually not physically posting this now because I’m at my wedding… but I’m scheduling it ahead of time because it’s very fitting considering I’m getting married today! This one is absolutely hilarious:

If you’re wondering why I haven’t posted in a while, please scroll down to see my previous post.

Published in: on July 10, 2010 at 2:00 pm  Comments (2)  
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Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey

Oh, dear. Just when you thought that charismatic theology couldn’t get any worse, you get the “Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey”. If this is where your pentacostalism is leading you, perhaps you should reconsider whether you even want to continue calling yourself a Christian.

The worst part is the testimonies at the end, where people actually think that they’ve been healed. Really? The Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey is going to heal you? Does that give glory to Christ? Does that proclaim the one true gospel? Does putting body parts “in” and “out” say something about how glorious God is?

Want to become a Wiccan?

Charismatic “Christian” John Crowder can hook you up! Raptures! Ecstatic prayer! Access the glory realm for yourself! You’ll move in a deeper level of prophecy. Get into the gridwork of the spirit realm! And learn about a bunch of nuts who claimed to do a lot of kooky stuff. This is paganism. There is nothing Christian about this.

A Great Sermon by “Joel Osteen”

This is super hilarious. I don’t really know why. Maybe I’ve got a weird sense of humor, maybe this guy’s voice is just that good, or maybe gibberish really is that amusing. In all honesty, it would be better if Joel said stuff like this instead of preaching his false Gospel.

(Thanks to Travis for sending me this.)

Welcome to Disneyland!

John MacArthur explains how Rick Warren’s “Purpose Driven Life” is an invitation to fantasyland.

Try this book instead.

(Thanks to Seth for sending me this video.)

Religulous: Speaking in Tongues

So really, who takes Religulous seriously? Well, a lot of non-believers, for one thing. But do they really matter? Most Christians have avoided the documentary altogether, and it’s not surprising. But are all the concerns that Religulous raised invalid? Maybe not. In fact, it makes a lot of sense to me why people see Christians speaking in gibberish and equate it to the Holy Spirit and think that Christians are a bunch of idiots.

Yes, the gospel is foolishness to those who are perishing– but to us it is the power of God. But isn’t it enough that the word of the cross is foolishness? Must we create some foolishness of our own to put on top of that? Christianity isn’t about being foolish, although some Christians seem to have adopted the concept of foolishness as their very own doctrine. Why are some Christians so intent on getting people to have some sort of mystical experience where God starts speaking unintelligible words through them? Does God really want that? Does God get kicks out of us speaking in gibberish? Does God want us to worship Him mindlessly? That seems to contradict one of the means of the directive to “Love the Lord your God.” How are we to love the Lord? With all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Do we love God with all our heart at one time, and then move on to our soul, and then move on to our mind, and then move on to our strength? Or ought we not to do them all at once? Paul’s message in 1 Corinthians 14:14 seems pretty clear: “For if I pray in a tongue, my spirit prays but my mind is unfruitful.” If your mind offers no fruits of worship to God, is that really a worthwhile way to spend your time? What’s Paul’s response in verse 15? He asks: “What am I to do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will pray with my mind also; I will sing praise with my spirit, but I will sing with my mind also.” Love God by praying with your spirit AND your mind. Don’t waste time praying in “tongues” that you don’t understand but rather pray with intelligible words — with your spirit AND your mind!

WARNING: Explicit language (one scatological phrase)

EPIC FAIL: Charismatic Chaos.

I’m trying to figure out if this is supposed to be speaking in tongues, a screamo imitation, part of an exorcism, or just a poor demon-possessed girl. Regardless, I’m shocked that no one is running about trying to help her. If this is the standard form of worship at this church or camp, please remind me to never go there.

WARNING: Horrific screaming.

1 Corinthians 14:33 – For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.
1 Corinthians 14:40 – But all things should be done decently and in order.

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Published in: on April 28, 2010 at 7:24 am  Leave a Comment  

Speaking in Tongues Proven

Uhh… proven? Well, at least it’s been “proven” to be a mindless activity (see 1 Cor 14:14 below). Apparently when people pray “in tongues” their frontal lobe is not active; whereas it is active when praying in sensible language. Now, I’d be a lot more interested in seeing a brain study with a bunch of non-pentecostals speaking in English as compared to the same people speaking in gibberish, and compare those results to the tongue-speakers. That would be a far more interesting study. In fact, who knows? Maybe they studied that, but the results would have meant that ABC wouldn’t had an interesting story.

What does Scripture say about this?

1 Cor 14 (4) The one who speaks in a tongue builds up himself, but the one who prophesies builds up the church. (9) So with yourselves, if with your tongue you utter speech that is not intelligible, how will anyone know what is said? For you will be speaking into the air. (13) Therefore, one who speaks in a tongue should pray for the power to interpret. (14) For if I pray in a tongue, my spirit prays but my mind is unfruitful. (15) What am I to do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will pray with my mind also; I will sing praise with my spirit, but I will sing with my mind also. (18) I thank God that I speak in tongues more than all of you. (19) Nevertheless, in church I would rather speak five words with my mind in order to instruct others, than ten thousand words in a tongue. (27) If any speak in a tongue, let there be only two or at most three, and each in turn, and let someone interpret. (28) But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in church and speak to himself and to God.

So maybe all those people in this video who are huddled up speaking in tongues in church without seeking an interpretation should stop. In verse 28, Paul basically tells anyone speaking in a tongue in church without an interpreter to shut up.

Published in: on April 26, 2010 at 12:22 pm  Comments (8)