Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey

Oh, dear. Just when you thought that charismatic theology couldn’t get any worse, you get the “Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey”. If this is where your pentacostalism is leading you, perhaps you should reconsider whether you even want to continue calling yourself a Christian.

The worst part is the testimonies at the end, where people actually think that they’ve been healed. Really? The Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey is going to heal you? Does that give glory to Christ? Does that proclaim the one true gospel? Does putting body parts “in” and “out” say something about how glorious God is?

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14 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. lol. You seem to be becoming cynical. Maybe you should give the hokey-pokey a chance. ^^
    But seriously, what are you mocking, their belief that they’ve been healed, their willingness to attribute their healing to God, or the method of their healing?

  2. Fishy just thinks the Hokey Pokey is silly. And he thinks Charismatics are silly. But I don’t think healing is silly.

    • So then, what are the methods of authentic spiritual healing, and how does one confirm their authenticity?
      Is God somehow above using unusual or even ridiculous ways to heal people? What would Naaman say? What would Mr. Healed-by-spit-in-the-eye say? Wouldn’t the most unusual and unexpected ways be the ones that most obviously show God’s sovereignty?
      If God can heal people, there is absolutely no reason he can’t heal people with the hokey-pokey. Why exactly are these particular healings laughable? If these people were healed, what is the explanation for the healing. If they weren’t healed, why do they say they were, and why do you not take them at their word?

  3. Actually, I see an interesting parallel between the healing of Naaman and the Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey: both could be taken as a direct attack on the participants sense of dignity and self-pride, and a pointer to reliance on God instead.

  4. I seem to recall an account of some people being accused of being drunk… in the morning… Oh yeah, it was because of the Holy Ghost!

  5. Maybe God needs to take Himself more seriously 😛

  6. It’s not about what God CAN do to glorify Himself, but what God SAYS we should do to worship Him. Does God command us to do the hokey pokey in His Word? Does He say that we can be healed by having some ecstatic religious experience? Or does He just command us to have the elders come pray and lay their hands on us? Please share some references, because this is news to me!

  7. Okay, that’s a good answer. So then, the legitimate, authentic way of spiritual healing is to have elders pray and lay hands on you, and what these people are doing is not that way, therefore their healing is an inauthentic self-delusion, demonic influence, or real change brought about by the sugar-pill effect. Would you agree? Which explanation do you think most likely?
    Also, have you ever prayed for someone’s healing yourself? Did God command you to? Did he give you that authority, or just the elders?

  8. Do you celebrate Christmas? I think we can agree that Christmas honors God in intent (I’m certainly not talking about the overblown, marketed Christmas, but the one that simply commemorates Christ’s birth), but that there is no Biblical injunction to celebrate Christ’s birth.
    Is it only what God specifically condemns that we should avoid, or all that he does not specifically command?

  9. I don’t think the Bible is restrictive on prayer — that is, I think any church member could pray for someone to be healed. But the Bible specifically says that you should get the elders to come pray and lay their hands on you. Why? Maybe because that is one of the main responsibilities of elders and so they especially are fulfilling their God-given ministry through praying for you and caring for you!

    Yes, I think that their “healing” is an inauthentic self-delusion. Placebos have been proven as very effective. In response to your suggestion that I don’t have a mandate from God to pray for people, God commands all people to pray for all people (1 Timothy 2:1, 8).

    Christmas celebrates an actual event that took place (the advent of Christ!) What’s wrong with celebrating that? It’s clearly depicted in the Gospels, so we’re celebrating an actual event and an actual person: Christ. And there is plenty of Biblical reason to celebrate Christ’s birth!!! In fact, His birth was lauded even before Jesus was born! Check out Isaiah 9 — if that’s not celebration of the coming Christ, what is it?

  10. It seems to me that you challenge this video on two very different fronts, without plainly distinguishing them. One is the naturalistic front, where you would say the effects seen on the video have entirely physical and psychological explanations. The other is the theological front, where you say that the practices are anti-Biblical (You didn’t say so literally, but the force of your criticism as I perceive it clearly points that way, so please explain if I am wrong.)
    I have some challenges in response. If one of these criteria is enough to topple the HS-HP, why bring in the other? If this example of “spiritual” healing can be discounted, what example can’t be? Lastly, what about the HS-HP is specifically condemned in the Bible?
    If you say “well, there is a clear naturalistic explanation for this” then you must also examine Biblical healing for a clear naturalistic explanation if it is to stand as authentic.
    On the other hand, if you say “well, there’s no Biblical justification for this” then I would like that to be shown more clearly, and to be shown why that is a more important issue than the issue of self-delusion.

    • I don’t understand your argument. You’ll have to re-word it. My worldview says that God is a God of order who created the world in a certain way, and He rarely interrupts it. It also says that God is actively involved in miracles as He has declared He is in His Word. So I don’t understand the problem. It’s all from a theological perspective.

  11. I’ve heard about this video, but this is the first time I actually watched it.

    Oh. My. Word.

    Now my knowledge of the Bible is a little rusty, but from what I remember Jesus never told the lepers or the blind men to do the hokey pokey.

    At one point the pastor says, “Alzheimer’s is not biblical.” So does that mean I should send my grandmother to this church?

    • Also, I’ve read Psalm 103 many times before, and I don’t see any evidence that David was talking about Alzheimer’s, unless you want to count verse 3 where he says God “heals all your diseases.”

      (As you can probably tell, the “Alzheimer’s is not biblical” line hit a raw nerve with me. My grandmother is going through it right now, and it’s weighing heavily on my family’s minds.)


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